Thursday, July 29, 2010

ill pass on this life... but I so hate consequences

ok so everything has offically gone to shit... me and jonathan are still broken up but we act almost like we arent except for the fact that his attention seems divided and I cant hang out with him without him getting a call or txt.... it upsets me cuz he'll sit there and say ily when no else is around but the second we step out of mi house its completely different..

it upsets me and mi family isn't helping either... and i kno a lot of ppl want us over but i dont cuase it'll hurt to much! and theres no way around it, it almost feels hopeless. but I cant gie up on something I kno I want..

I just don't want to hurt anymore.. when I know he has to leave everything starts to hurt.... like I said theres no way around the hurt ill eventually hav to push through it. and right now im waiting on him to get the cigs and bring them back... :(

the second I watch him leave mi heart will hurt..... and I need to talk to someone but that someone has to leave soon..

and I hate that the someone i wanna talk to I can't cause he'll get mad and that he has to go to work soon... oh and i forgot to mention I told mi aunt yesterday what mi uncle did and I guess tomorrow she's coming to go shopping...

she seemed to take it well.. but i think thats cause he was in the same room as her.... idk i'll write back asap

--Suicide Doll