ok so christmas is coming up and ill be spending it with mi fiance :) ah i love him so much :) tonight since his mom is leaving in the morning we're doing their xmas and on christmas we're going to mi house to open presents there :)
so he got a new job and honestly idk..... I like that we're gunna be able to see each other on the weekend like we used to but on mondays he has to go back to work... which speaking of mi love he should be heading home now :\ I guess this is the time where i pretend to be super duper happy for his sake at least :)
I know hes happy which makes me happy im just worried about how our schedules will play out.... idk this is all confusing and happening so fast... I guess we'll make right? we always do ^_^ plus maybe it'll take him to different places at different paces (lol that rhymed) and he'll get somewhere...
unlike me he has the ability to adapt and change for the better.. idk y he's with me because I honestly dont see me going anywhere.. idk what he sees in me :\ not that special other than the fact that im in school and I got a job... (which is pretty much a joke...) i mean making kids happy is great but the pay sucks... and I know im doing mi boss a big favor cuz really even she knows its a shitty job.. but whatever cant do anything until im out of school because that has to come first. I really wont get anywhere now a days without that little piece of paper that says I wasted the majority of mi childhood... ok it feels like im wasting it now
which yes I kno ur probably thinking once ur done you'll realize it wasnt a waste but right now it feels like its dragging on for forever when i could be done and getting a real job to help pay for things and save up.... :\ omg i hav a feeling life is about to get really hard.. hope im wrong...
--Suiside Doll
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