Sunday, September 13, 2009

I miss him with every passing heart beat...

Ok so Matt ended up coming over yesterday and today which made me really happy but now that he isn't here I miss him :[ I'm really lonely and the loneliness is almost unbearable. :[ If I had a friend or someone my age that could hang out with me or even if Matt lived closer I'd be somewhat content. I think my unhappiness is mostly cause by what I know is sure to follow when he leaves. In the end I know that everything will not be ok I love him and he makes all my sadness go away but someone else is sure to come along and fuck it up! Like I know that tomorrow will be no different then any other Monday. I'll sit here wishing I was with Matt doing school work. I hate school work..

I know it has to be done though I can't wait till I'm done with it all. When I can be with Matt without my family always thinking we're doing something wrong! I mean c'mon I know we're young but thats not the only thing we think about most of the time we just enjoy each others company and we're both fully content just sitting there talking and being together! My family has always treated me like i'm always going to be the one to fuck up and do something wrong! I'm sick of it because I'm not. If I can't change their minds then I'll wait till I'm 18 then walk out that fucking door and never look back! I won't come visit I won't call then they'll be sorry they ever treated me like shit... >_>

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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousSeptember 13, 2009 at 7:18 PM

    Good to hear you got to see your man! And yeah, I think everyone who's been in a long distance relationship feels the same way you do. Being with them is amazing, but then when they leave it's just kind of...ehhhh. Just try to remember the great times you have together and make as many memories as you can. Then you have something to think about during the sad times. As for the parents thing, I know all about non-accepting, overprotective parents. Just know you're not alone. Hope things start looking up in that regard!

    --Konnor

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  2. Aemilia GraceSeptember 14, 2009 at 11:25 PM

    It is hard being far away from the person you love. Believe me, I know. And you're still young with your hormones going. :P Sorry, had to say that.

    Anyway, just keep in mind what you want. If you don't want to go far, don't. It's better to wait than anything. And I know how it feels to have a family member think you're going to fuck up. My mom thinks I'm going to screw things up, and do the things my oldest sister did. :/

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